One of my favorite books is Richard Lederer's Anguished English. Every now and then, we just have to laugh about the misuse and abuse of the English language. Following are a few excerpts from Richard's book:
Mangled metaphors
That snake in the grass is barking up the wrong tree.
Don't sit there like a sore thumb.
It's time to swallow the bullet.
He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.
Misused Words
He suffered from unrequired love.
It's a fragment of your imagination.
He sees things from an unusual vintage point.
Newspaper Headlines
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Excuse Notes Received by Teachers/Schools
Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
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