Just for Fun

One of my favorite books is Richard Lederer's Anguished English. Every now and then, we just have to laugh about the misuse and abuse of the English language. Following are a few excerpts from Richard's book:

Mangled metaphors
That snake in the grass is barking up the wrong tree.

Don't sit there like a sore thumb.

It's time to swallow the bullet.

He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.

Misused Words
He suffered from unrequired love.

It's a fragment of your imagination.

He sees things from an unusual vintage point.

Newspaper Headlines
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Excuse Notes Received by Teachers/Schools
Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Me, Myself, and I

-Self Pronouns

The -self pronouns are called reflexive pronouns; they "reflect" back to the subject of the sentence or clause.

YES
I hurt myself.
He did it himself.
When you do it yourself, you have a greater sense of accomplishment.

NO
You must turn your forms into Jim or myself. No match.


Me = Objective Pronoun
The objective pronouns have two functions: They are either the object of a verb, or they are the object of a preposition.

Yes
You must turn your forms into Jim or me. Preposition "into" requires "me."
John caught me before I fell. Verb "caught" requires "me."

No
Sarah was talking about Peter and I. Preposition "about" requires "me."
Jan gave Saul and I the task. Verb "gave" requires "me."


I = Subjective Pronoun
Subjective pronouns are always the subject of the clause or sentence.

Yes
When the meeting opens, Samuel and I will present the agenda.
Jillian and I went to lunch with Mei.

No
When Joshua and me arrive, we'll set up the meeting room. Verb "arrive" requires "I."

Fewer or Less, Amount or Number?

Fewer and Number are used for quantities that can be counted.

Fewer people registered for the seminar than we anticipated.
You wouldn't believe the number of hours Deidre spent preparing for the presentation.


Less and Amount are used for quantities that cannot be counted.

My local grocery store is less crowded than the regional chains in the area.
Matt had a smaller amount of food on his plate than Shelly.

Spelling Tips for Some Tricky Words

Use mnemonic devices:

I before E, except after C,
Or when sounded like ay as in neighbor or weigh.

Which do you eat--desert or dessert?
Strawberry Shortcake is yummy, so it's dessert with two S's.

Make up a sentence or another word:
A Rat In The House May Eat The Ice Cream spells arithmetic.

Hook it in your mind with a word you know how to spell.
Is it ocassion, occassion, or occasion?
Occasions OCCuR, so it's two C's and one S.

Add rhythm: Most of us learned MiSS iSS iPP i.
So it's iN coN veN ieN ce for inconvenience.

More to come later--stay tuned.

Punctuate This

Let's have some fun with punctuation!

1. Can you punctuate the following words so they make sense?

• That that is is that that is not is not is not that it it is

2. Who's in charge here?

• A clever dog knows it's master.

3. Would you hire this butler?

• The butler stood at the door and called the guests names.

Answers:

1. That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is not that it? It is.


2. The dog is definitely in charge; it knows it is master.


3. I wouldn't hire that butler; he's being rude to my guests. I would only hire a butler who calls the guests' names (the names of the guests).